Whether you’re the couple getting married or the guest attending a destination wedding, it’s important to understand the etiquette. Planning a wedding is like naming a baby; everyone has an opinion. With that in mind - sit down, grab a cuppa, get cosy, and check out some of Fiander Foto’s tips for destination wedding etiquette for the modern couple and guests of:
1. Wedding Size - Before creating an invite list, couples should decide if they want a small or big wedding; if they want to elope or to invite guests. A Civil Ceremony may be planned first and a larger ceremony later. For all guests of the wedding - including the parents and in-laws - it’s important to note that this decision lies with the couple. Even if the couple elopes, there is still etiquette to follow for family and friends.
2. The Location of the Wedding - When selecting a location, consider where the majority of the guests live and the travel that will be involved. The cost of travelling to a location is key but also question if anyone has mobility issues; will they be able to physically travel to the location?
3. Save the Dates & Invites - For destination weddings, the Save-the-Dates can be sent anywhere from eight to six months in advance. Formal invites should follow between five to three months before the big day. Allow your guests time to take off from work and make travel plans. If you’ve received an invitation, be sure to RSVP well in advance.
4. Guests of Guests - For the couple, be clear about who exactly is invited to the wedding by including their names on the invitations. If sending to a married or engaged couple, add both names. If those invited have children, decide on whether or not to include them. If inviting someone single, be clear on if a “plus one” has been extended. If you’ve received an invite and you’re single, do not assume this means you get a plus one. Also, don’t assume the invite means you can bring your children as some weddings are for adults only.
5. Wedding Website - In today’s modern world, everything is online. Why? So it does not get lost. Couples: along with your Save-the-Dates and Invites create a website that houses everything: date, time, locations, and any gift registry information. Create a page for any activities planned like the rehearsal dinner, welcome drinks, and/or a farewell brunch. Although a word to the wise: don’t plan too much. Your guests have taken time out to attend your wedding and to also visit the destination. Suggest a few tourist spots your guests may like and allow them free time for them to explore on their own.
6. Say Thank You - This one may go without saying - but - in our fast-paced world, it can be easy to forget these two little words. For the couple, be sure to thank your guests for coming to your destination wedding. Many of them have spent a lot of money and taken time off of work or school to attend your special day. Particularly for those who have limited vacation days during a year, it’s important for the couple to express their gratitude. For the guests, thank the newly weddings for including you. When creating their guests’ list - they collectively decided they wanted you at their side. A few great ways to say thank you: hand-written notes, welcome bags, small gifts for each guest, or my personal favourite - take 10 minutes on your wedding day to capture a big group shot! This is always a fun moment to photograph and guests can opt to print and frame it when they return home; a great way to remember the wedding!
7. The Professional Guest - Attending a wedding is similar to going to a job interview except with more champagne. Be On-Time - Respect the couples’ planning efforts and don’t to be rude by arriving late or leaving early. Leave Work Behind - Activate an auto-reply email notifying colleagues or clients that you’re out of the office and be sure to silence cell phones at the wedding. Don’t Get in the Photographers’ Way - the couple has selected their photographer (and paid handsomely for) for a variety of reasons but mostly relating to the way the photographer style. Avoid stepping in front of the photographer (particularly during the ceremony) and using a flash (which may interfere with the photographer’s lighting gear). Dress Appropriately - When selecting an outfit as a guest, remember it’s the couples’ day, not yours. Guests should not “upstage” the couple when it comes to clothing. Drinking Too Much - The bar may be open and the drinks may be flowing, although it’s a good idea for guests to pace themselves. Avoid passing out before the night is over.
8. Be Present and Have Fun - For both the couple and the guests, be sure to “mentally” put aside anything that you may be worried about that is not related to the wedding. We all have a lot on our minds - whether these things are related to work, school, family, and/or friends. Once you arrive at the destination wedding, be present and enjoy the moment!
